The BSA A7-A10 Forum

Bikes, Pictures, Stories & more => Chat, Offtopic, Meetings & Everything Else => Topic started by: Sluggo on 20.12. 2019 02:18

Title: Wanton destruction of Sexy Singles (BSA)
Post by: Sluggo on 20.12. 2019 02:18
Was in storage and some of the BSA Pre-unit singles, Calm yourselves, gird your loins, I DID NOT BLOW THEM UP!  I bought 2 blown up ones for parts for some of my other project bikes. These were grenaded safely away in Washington State by throttle jockeys up in the WERA race series by VME members who were long on enthusiasm and poorly prepared at bottom end longevity.

However I scored some good BB34 and CB Goldie bits in the process.  Im downsizing my projects so winter project is inventory and selling off some of the non keeper projects.

 *eek* *beer* If you look to the left in the second picture you can see the perfectly preserved head of Miss Maggie Neato, former super model and emissary of the NorCal BSA owners club. The look of shock on her face is rightfully earned as pieces of the Goldie flew in a wide arc and that piece of alloy case severed her noggin completely.  She was on site as a investigatior team for the BSAOC to look into allegations that BSAs were being sacrificed and needlessly expended in a poorly executed attempt at race fuel glory and oil soaked idolation.   

Canadian members of the CVMA on hand as well, well warned of Americans propensity to gore filled violence, had ignored the missives that, "They be CRAZY" and attended the event intending to instill a voice of reason and perhaps some mediation.  As well, they entered a Norton that was a NOT-RUN as a DNF on the back straight mid race. To obscure their humiliating defeat in competition and fearing the publicity, Several of the Canadian contingent quickly scooped up Maggie Neatos head in a Curling gear bag with a Tsawwassen Recreation hall logo and hid her remains of her torso behind a Taco Bell in Ballard right off Interstate 5 where it was assumed she was the victim of gang violence instead of a BSA. Forensics results were puzzling but inconclusive but tell tale bits of Birmingham alloys were detected.

Her head, was repurposed into a US Bowling bag and slipped into the race trailer of the VME club (Vintage MC Enthusiasts) while they were at the Pub.  Being the Pacific NW it might have deteriorated but being a California gal, no one can overlook the effects of extensive plastic surgery can have and silicon implants had well leached into her surrounding tissues. and due to the unique climate of the Whidbey Islands deception pass, She remained perfectly preserved and actually mummified.

While shopping jacked up on a Dutch Brothers quad shot Caramelizer Espresso at the WVM Swap meet (Jumble) up in Mt Vernon Washington I spotted the detritus and smegma of the grossly offended BB34 Goldie sitting forlornly in the Cow barn and overly excited by lack of sleep and false bravado of the Espresso I blurted out,, "Ill take it,,Ill take it all!" Shortly before gate opening for the public.  Pressing wads of $20 bills into their waiting hands I failed to examine all the bins of parts and the oddly shaped Bowling bag the head was now positioned in.

Being more hoarder than assembler,, I only recently discovered her gaping maw and tousled hair amongst piles of BSA parts.  I am awaiting word from Mr Getty, trusty scribe of the NorCal BSAOC newsletter as to the wishes of the club and how to respectfully repatriate her eeerily preserved remains for "Closure"  However not to be overlooked is, WHO IS THE IMPOSTER WRITING MISS MAGGIE NEATOS ADVICE COLUMN IN THE CLUB NEWSLETTER?   

Title: Re: Wanton destruction of Sexy Singles (BSA)
Post by: Greybeard on 20.12. 2019 08:54
A great tale!  *smile*
Title: Re: Wanton destruction of Sexy Singles (BSA)
Post by: Sluggo on 20.12. 2019 10:57
A great tale!  *smile*

 *dunno* *whistle* *shh*

Thanks! I already thought of a ton of edits, Im submitting it to the NorCal miscreants, we shall see what they say but Ill go back and rework a lot of it.  Its ver 1.0,  Just having some fun with the topic when I got realized what that picture showed.  Was worried a bit admins might delete it.   *countdown*
But for a lot of people, especially the locals here on the US west coast, there is a TON of Easter Eggs loaded in for those who know the area and vintage scene.

But its not for everyone. My sense of humor gets me in trouble often, but have been practicing my  writing craft for 2 books I am working on. Joined for feedback with some top editors and writing experts.. still failing badly  *smile*

But as the famous Ken Armann of the NorCAL BSAOC & Norton owners club (Coolest Chiropractor-Naturopath & British bike service shop on the planet) says, that I shamelessly adopted.....
 "I am best taken in small doses" 

Sometimes not at all. 

** Fun fact, tangent.  At some of the INOA Norton Rallies Ken would give out special #2 Acupuncture needles that ironically are perfectly sized for Amal Idle jets.  These are wildly popular tools and I had to go back 2x and ask for more from Ken because people kept stealing mine when ever I set them down so to this day,, At Norton events or any of the NorCal vintage meets people still ask Ken,,,,"Got any more of those Amal Acupuncture needles?