Author Topic: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!  (Read 924 times)

Online orabanda

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Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« on: 13.02. 2014 06:24 »
(Bunnings is the largest hardware store chain in Australia)

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house --.
Mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt or paint.
You have your old work clothes on.
You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Bunnings to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex.
Add a dab of your favourite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair.
Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands.
Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Bunnings.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat; wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt.
Change shoes because you don't want to get dog crap in your new sports car.
Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
The Cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from Gold Coast's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms.'

In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore.
Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's.
You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Bunnings until the Chemist has your prescriptions ready, too.
Don't even notice the dog crap on your shoes.
The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize your balls are hanging out the hole in your crotch.

In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again.
Now you remember you need to go to Bunnings.
Go to KMart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name.
You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond:
What's a bundings ? Something for my garden?
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this?
Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

Offline muskrat

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #1 on: 13.02. 2014 08:51 »
I seem a LOT older than I am. I went straight from 30 to 70 but I'm only 5#. *eek*
The wife thinks it's Christmas if I remember to wash my hands before I come to bed. *???*
Cheers
'51 A7 plunger, '57 A7SS now A10CR,  '83 CB1100F, 88 FXST .
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Online bsa-bill

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #2 on: 13.02. 2014 11:33 »
WE don't have that store in UK
but
I'm younger than the way I now walk
I'm older than my brain (but that's because it takes time out too often)
I'm as old as I am due to the drugs I consume when I remember to
I don't own any shorts or trousers with a hole in the crutch, I just forge to zip up instead (which is also the reason for any smiles I may get)
 and the farting - is the best reason a man should have more than one shed ;D
All the best - Bill
1961 Flash - stock, reliable, steady, fantastic for shopping
1959 Rocket Gold Flash - blinged and tarted up  would have seizure if taken to  Tesco

Offline Topdad

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #3 on: 13.02. 2014 13:31 »
Oh God I can relate to most of that (63 yrs young ) except having my dangly bits exposed !!
The cure is to put on riding boots ,( also clothes would be good)  as soon as I do I become focused and walk just like I was 16 , go for a ride and it only wears off when you've put the bike to bed again in the garage. BobH.
" rules are made for the guidance of wise men and the blind obediance of fools"
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Offline cyclobutch

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #4 on: 13.02. 2014 15:20 »
Dammit, low 50s and I'm in the 60 plus bracket already.

It's the big Halfords down the road for me. Half way through a job with a bike up on the table and off I have to toddle. And then the girl on the till has to offer 'and would you like us to fit that for you?'. Always provides a chuckle.
Various, including ...
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Offline a10gf

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #5 on: 15.02. 2014 00:47 »
It's good. lol++

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Offline olev

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #6 on: 16.02. 2014 02:20 »
Be careful about the scam at Bunnings...

There is a couple of hot looking girls doing the rounds of Bunnings carparks in Brisbane at the moment. As you are getting in your car, they ask you for a lift. One sits in the front with you and the other one gets in the back.
The one in the front diverts your attention by getting very very friendly, while the one in the back steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen last Saturday, twice on Sunday and once on the way home from work tonight...

cheers

Online Brian

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #7 on: 16.02. 2014 02:34 »
You dont stop riding motorcycles because you get old, you get old because you stop riding motorcycles.

Offline duTch

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #8 on: 16.02. 2014 03:35 »
 Geez Olev, which Bunnings...??.....they must be fairly hot to have it happen three times- I don't do Bunnings except for Dremel bits that the local hardware don't have, but I might have to go looking for them, heading out now..!

 ps, I'll try and get your wallets back- that's an expensive habit.. *smile*
Started building in about 1977/8 a on average '52 A10 -built from bits 'n pieces never resto intended -maybe 'personalised'
Have a '74 850T Moto Guzzi since '92-best thing I ever bought doesn't need a kickstart 'cos it bump starts sooooooooo(mostly) easy
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Offline a10gf

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #9 on: 16.02. 2014 10:55 »
You dont stop riding motorcycles because you get old, you get old because you stop riding motorcycles.

Good one.  *smile*

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Online morris

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Re: Bunnings Timeline: I can relate to that!!
« Reply #10 on: 16.02. 2014 20:43 »
The one in the front diverts your attention by getting very very friendly, while the one in the back steals your wallet.
*smile* *smile* *smile*
This is why you see me running around these days wearing a cheap empty wallet in a prominent place.
Bizarrely enough this only seems to attract blondes *????* *conf*
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