Author Topic: The Dead Duck  (Read 337 times)

Offline a10gf

  • Wise & Enlightened
  • *
  • Join Date: Sep 2006
  • Posts: 2939
  • Karma: 45
  • West Coast, Norway & Alpes Maritimes, France
    • A10 GF
The Dead Duck
« on: 15.05. 2015 00:23 »
(snipped from another forum)

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest.

After a moment or two the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry but your duck has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I'm sure. Your duck is dead,” replied the vet.

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean you haven’t done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put its front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. It then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook its head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot then sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “£150!” she cried, “£150 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “I’m sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it’s now £150.”


A10 GF '53 My A10 website
"Success only gets you a ticket to a much more difficult task"

Offline duTch

  • Ricketty Rocketty Golden Flashback
  • Wise & Enlightened
  • *
  • Join Date: Oct 2011
  • Posts: 4539
  • Karma: 41
Re: The Dead Duck
« Reply #1 on: 15.05. 2015 04:35 »

 Shades of Monty Python- until the bill arrived.. *smile*
Started building in about 1977/8 a on average '52 A10 -built from bits 'n pieces never resto intended -maybe 'personalised'
Have a '74 850T Moto Guzzi since '92-best thing I ever bought doesn't need a kickstart 'cos it bump starts sooooooooo(mostly) easy
Australia

Offline muskrat

  • Global Moderator
  • Wise & Enlightened
  • **
  • Join Date: Jul 2009
  • Posts: 8803
  • Karma: 113
  • Lithgow NSW Oz
    • Shoalhaven Classic Motorcycle Club Inc
Re: The Dead Duck
« Reply #2 on: 15.05. 2015 11:20 »
16-116 *????* With that I'm guessing 85 *ex*
 *fight*

adm question: wrong topic  ?
'51 A7 plunger, '57 A7SS now A10CR,  '83 CB1100F, 88 FXST .
Australia
Muskys Plunger A7

Offline Topdad

  • bob hebdon
  • Wise & Enlightened
  • *
  • Join Date: May 2011
  • Posts: 2309
  • Karma: 33
  • l
Re: The Dead Duck
« Reply #3 on: 15.05. 2015 11:23 »
Very Good E , still chuckling, bob
" rules are made for the guidance of wise men and the blind obediance of fools"
United Kingdom

Online morris

  • Wise & Enlightened
  • *
  • Join Date: Aug 2012
  • Posts: 1683
  • Karma: 26
  • Antwerp, Belgium
Re: The Dead Duck
« Reply #4 on: 15.05. 2015 15:14 »
Luckily she didn't went to my vet. He would have played the radio and charged the poor woman for a radiology to...!
'58 BSA A 10 SA
'52 BSA A 10 Plunger
'55 MORRIS ISIS
The world looks better from a motorbike
Belgium

Offline olev

  • Brisbane, Australia
  • Resident Legend
  • *****
  • Join Date: Sep 2008
  • Posts: 539
  • Karma: 3
Re: The Dead Duck
« Reply #5 on: 17.05. 2015 07:36 »
Doesn't have anything to do with dead ducks but ...

So, I said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had another fight with my wife”

"Oh yeah," said Eddie. "And how did this one end?"

"When it was over," I replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees."

"Really? Now that's a switch! What did she say"?

"She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you gutless weasel”

cheers