Author Topic: Light Hearted stuff  (Read 1905 times)

Offline olev

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Light Hearted stuff
« on: 19.06. 2009 11:16 »
A young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. It is one of the fastest and most expensive cars in the world, and it costs around $100,000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops at a red light. An old man on an old BSA motorcycle (both looking about 70 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"

The young man replies, "A 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo. They cost $100,000."

"That's a lot of money," replies the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 180 miles an hour!" states the young man proudly.

The BSA rider asks, "Can I take a look inside?"

"Sure," replies the owner. So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his BSA, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"

Just then, the light changes, so the young guy decides to show the old man what his car can do. He floors it, and within 10 seconds the speedometer reads 120 MPH. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly, whhhoooossshhh! Something whips by him, going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Porsche 911 Turbo?" the young man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him. Whoooooosh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And, it almost looked like the old man on the BSA!   "Couldn't be," thinks the guy. "How could a BSA outrun a Porsche 911 Turbo?"

 Again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whoooooosha-BbblaMMM! It plows into the back of his car. The young man jumps out. It is the old man!!! Of course, the BSA and the old man are hurting for certain. He runs up to the old man and says, "You're hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?"

 The old man groans and replies, "Yes. Please unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror!"


Some unkind suggestions I've received on what BSA stands for:
Bits Stuck Anywhere
Blo*dy Sore Ar*e
Better Send Assistance
Bull Sh*t Artist
Bast*rds Stalled Again

cheers
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Richard

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #1 on: 19.06. 2009 22:06 »
Olev
I like the BSA terms do you mind if I make use of the 4th one
Richard
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Offline fido

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #2 on: 19.06. 2009 22:22 »
I suppose it's got to be better than people thinking our bikes were made by boy scouts in America (ever tried doing a Google search for BSA?).
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Offline ronnierockets

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #3 on: 20.06. 2009 09:12 »
Hi Olev,
if you think that  suggestions as to what BSA stands for are bad ,what about my friends suggestion for his A.J.S   Ahhh....Jazes...Start..
Best regards...Ronnierockets..
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as the wife says,too many bikes, and only one butt.

Offline LJ.

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #4 on: 20.06. 2009 09:15 »
and Hardly Ridden Daily... HRD's
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Ride Safely Lads! LJ.
**********************
1940 BSA M20 500cc Girder/Rigid- (SOLD)
1947 BSA M21 600cc Girder/Rigid-Green
1949 BSA A7   500cc Girder/Plunger Star Twin-(SOLD)
1953 BSA B33  500cc Teles/Plunger-Maroon
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Blue
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Red

Online RichardL

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #5 on: 20.06. 2009 13:46 »
On the other side of the coin from Olev's list:

Best Seat Available
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Plan on signing up for the world-wide 2020 DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN'S RIDEon September 27, 2020. This year it's a solo or pillion ride in dapper attire. Watch website at https://www.gentlemansride.com for details.


Offline fido

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #6 on: 20.06. 2009 15:57 »
Shouldn't that be Best 'Sickle Available?
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Offline LJ.

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #7 on: 20.06. 2009 17:53 »
Quote
Shouldn't that be Best 'Sickle Available?

No!... Because' Silly Actually!

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Ride Safely Lads! LJ.
**********************
1940 BSA M20 500cc Girder/Rigid- (SOLD)
1947 BSA M21 600cc Girder/Rigid-Green
1949 BSA A7   500cc Girder/Plunger Star Twin-(SOLD)
1953 BSA B33  500cc Teles/Plunger-Maroon
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Blue
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Red

Richard

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #8 on: 20.06. 2009 19:05 »
Olev
see what you started
Richard
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Online Brian

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #9 on: 21.06. 2009 07:27 »
I'm starting to worry about you lot. Now I know why my parents emmigrated to Australia...........................
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Offline rocket man

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #10 on: 21.06. 2009 10:00 »
yes were all nutters *smile*
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Offline LJ.

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #11 on: 21.06. 2009 19:29 »
Quote
Now I know why my parents emmigrated to Australia

Brian...

I take it you were Born South Australia?

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Ride Safely Lads! LJ.
**********************
1940 BSA M20 500cc Girder/Rigid- (SOLD)
1947 BSA M21 600cc Girder/Rigid-Green
1949 BSA A7   500cc Girder/Plunger Star Twin-(SOLD)
1953 BSA B33  500cc Teles/Plunger-Maroon
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Blue
1961 BSA A10  650cc Golden Flash-Red

Online Brian

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #12 on: 23.06. 2009 08:03 »
Now thats corny!!!!!

Actually I was born in South Aust, I'm the only one of my family born in Aust. My parents and brother and sister all come from Aldershot. I've never been to the UK and as I spend all my money on motorbikes I am not likely to !!!!!!!!!!
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Offline olev

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #13 on: 23.06. 2009 09:09 »
no one seemed to like my porsche joke, I'll try again.

An old bikey was riding down a desolate highway when his battered Gold Flash broke down (as they do).

Soon a fellow on a BMW pulled up next to him and asks. "Can I help?"
"Yeah, could I borrow a wrench?" says the Beeza tragic.

"Of course. What type and size do you need?" Beemer man asks, opening an impressive tool kit.

"Doesn't matter a stuff, I'm gonna use it for a hammer anyway."

and an AJS is All Jerks & Stops
cheers
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Offline 69Bonni

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Re: Light Hearted stuff
« Reply #14 on: 23.06. 2009 12:23 »
Made me laugh too Olev!

That reminds me of an Old Scottish engineer i once worked with....
He said "Pass me a spanner" i handed a adjustable wrench down under the machine to him (not knowing what size he wanted)
Whoosh!!! the wrench shot out from under the machine at a 100mph followed buy a load of swearing "Oiy, Nuts had spanners made to fit them Laddie! Now get me a Bloody Spanner"

Always remenber use the right tool for the job eh!

Steve
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Kind Regards
Steve Rickman